Avoid Being “Hooked” and “Lured” into the Hookup Culture

As an enthusiast of fishing, I know firsthand how to hook and reel in a fish. It requires diligence, patience, and tolerance for the mess that entails such an activity. Fishing goes hand-in-hand with love, as well. Yet, to say it in terms of my values, the guy must be willing to hook you up (the girl) after effort upon effort, no matter the mess, and endure the wait till he obtains his prize (you). When finding the right match it is best to meet people, find similarities and desirable traits, and have subsequent yet mutual feelings blossom. The au natural way of finding love apparently is diminished in the age of “hooking up” at the collegiate level.  The antiquated analogy of “there’s plenty of fish in the sea,” as the correspondent metaphor goes, provides an opportunity for men and women to seek potential mates (the fish) from a big pool of any given population (the sea) at the university setting. Yet, when you want to have many fish to hook and lure with your fishing rod with little effort, only disappointment will ensue for the parties involved.

Let me spell it out for you: I am no fan of the hookup culture found at colleges and universities. I’ve seen it here at UCSD, and frankly, it is not my cup of tea nor will it ever be. Call me crazy for being traditional, but it is plain silly and hurtful for both sides (especially girls) when they have a casual fling or one-night stand. The process of hooking and luring entails a girl becoming drunk, submissive to the whims of a “hot” guy, lured into a bedroom, and physically diminished of one’s self-worth. The next day, the girl is nonexistent and essentially the guy’s quick sex plaything. Talk about degrading and gross! What happened to girls priding in themselves for regarding their body as a sanctuary reserved for the guy they truly love? I guess the pressure to fit in and feel welcomed in such a setting like college forces a girl to be an object of sexual experimentation for a guy, later becoming just another notch on his belt of sexual conquest, on many occasions.

After reading an April 20^th, 2010 post on the Phi Beta Cons section of the online version of The National Review, I am reassured that there are people, college students like myself, who pride in having a substance-enriched relationship with a special someone. Students are emulating the rejection of this phenomenon for the return of normalcy perceived in ol’ fashioned love, the post reveals. Personally, I cannot tell anyone how to live their lives. People have to make their own decisions, and I am not going to nag them about it.  Yet, it is imperative to promote the value of dating and building relationships rather than meaningless and often hurtful sexcapades. An excerpt from the Phi Beta Con section of NRO by contributor Nathan Harden retorts, “Casual sex doesn’t produce deep relationships. When casual sex is the only kind of relationship available, guys don’t benefit morally or spiritually, I would argue. Yet young women seem to get the worst of the bargain because of the high emotional cost they often bear.” Why does society have to plunge further into an abyss with this? It started with the love culture of the 1960’s, where sexual freedom was advocated and sexual whims had run amok. We do not need this sexual revolution in full bloom again in our day, as the effects of “hooking up” potentially lead to venereal diseases, broken hearts, hopeless desires, and unwanted pregnancies (and thus abortions in the most extreme cases).

If college students attest to the notion of rejecting the hookup culture, then obviously something is inherently wrong in this practice. As arbiters of our future, we should enforce the values set in relationships and restore the essence of love. Do not conform to the hook up culture! Instead be above it and embrace love for its optimal worth when it comes your way.