From Bob’s column Forbidden Table Talk published by Communities At Washington Times. Used by permission.
SAN DIEGO, June 27, 2012 — Having trouble deciding what to buy your friends for their wedding or some other special occasion? Did the coupon for a free Slurpee from 7/11 seem too uncreative? Well be of good cheer, our President of the United States even had your social life in mind when he took a pledge to defend you.
In a burst of inspiration that men like Lincoln and Jefferson could not have put together in their wildest dreams, the Obama Event Registry has made its mark upon history.
The registry site says, “Instead of another gift card you’ll forget to use, ask your friends and family for something that will go a little further: a donation to Obama for America…it’s a great way to show your support for a cause that’s important to you on your big day.”
Examples of a “big day” include weddings, birthdays, anniversaries, even Bar Mitzvahs.
The site is especially helpful inasmuch as it suggests appropriate wording for the unusual request:
“For my big day, I’d like to show my support for a cause I believe in — re-electing President Obama. That’s why I’m asking my friends and family to donate to the Obama campaign. Thanks for chipping in!”
Just when we thought we’d seen everything, our mold breaking president springs his latest surprise like a fun, sneaky Jack in the Box!
Genius ideas always inspire additional creativity. And so, in the spirit of patriotism, here are other ways to support President Obama and his many causes:
-When voting for your favorite contestants in reality shows such as American Idol, arrange to have the vote count for Obama’s November reelection instead. If the contestant complains, explain that we are merely being compassionate and socialistic by “spreading the fame around.”
-While betting on a football or baseball game, arrange to have your winnings sent to the Obama campaign. If you lose, the government will withdraw funds from Mitt Romney.
-At movie theaters, arrange to have your popcorn and candy money sent to Obama. This will serve the double goal of reelecting Barack and conforming to Michelle’s nutritional standards at the same time.
-Instead of your annual donation to the local zoological society, have the funds made out to the veterinarian who gives check-ups to Obama’s dog, Bo.
-Instead of congratulating your friends when they become proud parents of a new born baby, send a contribution to Planned Parenthood.
-Instead of arresting illegal immigrants, cops can give them a pass so that they might find a poll that does not ask for I.D. and vote for Obama. Oh wait! Never mind. This one is already being done. I guess truth is stranger than fiction after all.
Bob Siegel is a weekend radio talk show host on KCBQ and columnist. Details of his show can be found at www.bobsiegel.net
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