…so offered my friend Michael Schwartz, in a satirical comment to my Facebook post:
Just got a greeting card in the mail offering me “Warmest Wishes for the Winter Holiday” from an escrow company in Northern California. Milquetoast. You gotta try harder than that.
Let’s start with this: Offering me the white-washed “Warmest wishes for the Winter Holidays” doesn’t make you politically correct, it makes you personally disinterested in me. Let me explain.
I don’t subscribe to the #WarOnChristmas meme. I’m sure it’s happening but it ain’t bothering me. What annoys me is that people are too scared to be wrong in what should be a nice gesture.
A “personal greeting” implies that you know something about me…something “personal”…or at least care enough about me that you WANT to know something personal about me. Let me help you out:
Wish me “Ramadan Mubarak” and I”ll tell you that I’m not Muslim. I’ll tell you that I didn’t meet a Muslim person until I was 29 years old and he was a Bosnian refugee in Arizona. I’ll tell you that I’m not Muslim but I’ll ask if you are and if you are, I’ll wish you “Ramadan Mubarak,” and be grateful we got a chance to learn about one another.
Yell “Happy Channukah” at me and I’ll yell it right back at you. I grew up in a town where 1 in 3 kids was Jewish. I’ve been to Bar Mitzvahs and Seder dinners, was a guest at Hebrew classes, and sat Shiva…but I’m not Jewish.
Offer me a “Happy Holidays” and I’m going to tell you that I’m not an atheist. I’ll explain that I’ve had crises of Faith in my life. I’ll tell you that I wondered about the existence of God but, through those crises, I kept thinking that some sort of intelligent design is evident when I see a snowflake, a plant, or a mountain range. I’ll tell you that, in the end, I didn’t have enough faith TO be an atheist so I believe in God…and His Son…who’s entry to earth I celebrate each December.
You’re gonna end up wishing me a “Merry Christmas” anyway so just do it. I’ll reply in kind and, if you correct me, I’ll remember how you personally celebrate the holidays because we took the time to be…well…personal with one another this year.
Take a risk and be personal with me — I’ll do the same with you. I like all types of people and I love learning new things. I respect whatever you celebrate and believe…unless it’s boredom. “Warmest Winter Wishes” is a tell-tale sign that you celebrate boredom…and I just can’t celebrate boredom.
Try harder. Merry Christmas, y’all.
Comments 4
Not a believer, but Happy Christmas to you.
Thank you and Happy New Year David!!
Best thing I’ve read this Winter Holiday Season. Merry Christmas, Brian.
Boom!
Love it.