My Predictions For Tonight’s State of the Union Address

My predictions for tonight’s State of the Union address are as follows:

1) We will hear that the state of the union is good. Wow! Didn’t see that one coming, did you? After the big sigh of relief is heard from across the land, Obama may say something to the effect of, “I can see where it may not look that way.”

2) We will hear again that Obama is trying to clean up somebody else’s mess. Probably he will not say the words, “George Bush ” but it will be pretty clear whom he is referring to. Our current president knows he is getting too much mileage from playing this wild card, so he will either do it quickly and subtly, or he may get bold, and go for an alternative strategy by pro-actively addressing the criticism of blaming too much on the past administration. In this scenario, look for Obama to explain that although he normally does not pass blame to others, and indeed, that is not what he is actually doing this time either, the previous president had especially bad, far reaching policies, and well…one year just isn’t enough time to climb out of this pit that was dug by somebody else, even though the state of the union is still good.

NOTE: Three years from now, when Obama is running for reelection, we will hear that four years is not enough time to climb out of the pit. On the other hand, if Republicans take back Congress in November and the economy (no thanks to Obama) is better in three years, he will announce that he single-handedly rescued our country from the previous alleged pit.

3) To save face, he will insist that he is still committed to health care and that Republicans are invited to be a part of the bi-partisan effort, as they always have been anyway. He will say that he would rather do what is right than be re-elected and that a man must stand by his convictions.

4) Then, in accordance with the advice of his cabinet and other peers, he will get off the subject of health care faster than a pet feline on catnip.

5) He will say that he understands the anger of the country and he will act angry himself for effect. One of his teleprompters will undoubtedly have the written instructions: “Display a sense of outrage at this point.”

6) He will blame the bad economy on evil banks and other big corporations. He may even have some poor family who could not get a mortgage stand up for effect.

7) He will defend his “anti-terrorism policies” by reminding us that thanks to him, America now has a better reputation around the world. He will offer a reminder lecture, namely, that we, as a people, must live up to our own constitution (without explaining how interrogating a terrorist violates the constitution). He will explain how places like Gitmo breed more terrorists. He will say nothing about how irrational hatred for America and literal readings of the Koran, Chapter 9 breed terrorism.

Before leaving this subject, lest he look too weak, he will remind us of the troops he is sending to Afghanistan. He will say something complimentary about the military and probably have some military person stand up to be acknowledged for something.

8) He will remind us about the good job America (meaning he, himself) is doing in Haiti. Although this is true, he will talk about Haiti long enough to hope we are not thinking about too many of his other policies. If a third party stands up, it will probably be somebody rescued from Haiti.

Well, that’s it. As I always like to say, a trained chimpanzee did not make these predictions. It’s just that a trained chimpanzee could have made them.

Bob Siegel is a weekend radio talk show host on KCBQ and columnist. Details of his show can be found at www.bobsiegel.net. Comments to posts are discussed by Bob over the air where anyone is free to call in and respond/debate. Call in toll free number: 1-888-344-1170