SD Rostra

Obituary: Billy Bob, Government Union Boss

As the teachers’ unions across the country pressure politicians to close schools but still pay them in full, some teachers’ unions are stooping to the tactics of having their members write their own obituaries in case they die from Covid-19 and mail them to elected officials.  

Inspired by this idea, we offer a model obituary that government unions can use as a guide.


Obituary: Billy Bob, Government Union Boss

Billy Bob the union boss passed away Wednesday from Covid-19 and his pre-existing condition of morbid obesity and chain smoking.

Billy Bob started out as an entry level regulation enforcement analyst for the state Water Authority Safety Training and Enforcement (WASTE) division.

After 18 months Billy Bob was elected union boss for the union representing his job classification: Municipal, Organizational, Business, and Science Technical Enforcement Staff (MOBSTERS).

Billy Bob was looking forward to retirement at age 50 and a pension of $364,500 a year for life – but alas it wasn’t meant to be.

Due to accrued vacation, however, Billy Bob will remain an employee of the WASTE division for another 18 months – until 2022.

Billy Bob will be missed – especially by the politicians he financed (bought) using his union members’ dues. However, Billy Bob looks forward to continuing to vote for these same politicians in the upcoming 2020, 2022, 2024, 2026, 2028, and 2030 elections.

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